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How To Email Like A Jerk

How To Email Like A Jerk

We’ve all been there. You’re trying to be professional, but somehow your emails just come out sounding like a jerk. Here are a few tips to help you email like a jerk:

Be vague

When you’re emailing someone, be sure to be as vague as possible. This way, they’ll have to guess what you’re trying to say, and they’ll probably get it wrong. For example, instead of writing “I’m sorry for being late,” try “My apologies for the delay.”

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Use lots of jargon

Jargon is a great way to make your emails sound more jerk-like. Be sure to use lots of technical terms and acronyms that the other person probably won’t understand. For example, instead of writing “Can you please send me the report?” try “Can you please forward me the TPS report?”

Be condescending

When you’re emailing someone, be sure to sound as condescending as possible. This way, they’ll feel inferior and will be more likely to do what you want. For example, instead of writing “Can you do this for me?” try “I’m assuming you know how to do this.”

Use exclamation points!!!

Exclamation points are a great way to make your emails sound more jerk-like. Be sure to use them as much as possible, especially after every sentence. For example, instead of writing “I’m sorry for the inconvenience,” try “I’m sorry for the inconvenience!”

Yell

When you’re emailing someone, be sure to use all caps. This way, it will seem like you’re yelling at them, and they’ll be more likely to do what you want. For example, instead of writing “Can you please send me the report?” try “CAN YOU PLEASE SEND ME THE REPORT?”

By following these tips, you’ll be sure to email like a jerk in no time!

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About the Author: Linda Clevenger

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